201202968 Lim Jung-Yun / 임정연
Divorce: The Good Side.
Divorce rates all over the world are rising every year. In some countries such as China, the number of couples getting divorced surpasses the number of people getting hitched. Conventionally, divorce has been treated with shame and devastation. However, this is an outdated notion. Divorce has its good sides and positive qualities that should be taken note of. Admittedly, divorce is not the BEST thing that one could experience in one's life. Even so, it is not the catastrophic, earth-shattering event in one's life that people consider it to be. Yes, divorce has its positive outcomes that contribute to the enriching the quality of one's life.
First of all, divorce allows time for self-reflection and healing. Divorce happens for a reason. Maybe it was because of one's own fault, maybe the significant other was the reason. It may even be of mutual fault. Whatever the reason, divorce happens because of failure to overcome those problems. Divorce grants the time to heal one's self and tend the post-wounds of the events that led to divorce. This may include a variety of things ranging from taking therapy, moving to a new place, or even meeting new people. It could be something simple like finding private and undivided time to spend one oneself like treating oneself to a bubble bath. Regardless of who provided the major leading cause of the divorce, both parties need time to heal and tend their own personal wounds whatever they might be. Divorce gives the time for reflection and improvement that will in the end, gives the strength to seek restart a new life.
Also, believe it or not, divorce also sends out a positive message to kids about loving and caring about one's self. Of course, divorce is a hurting event for the kids as well. However, it is not just all about families being torn apart. Sometimes, a lot of couples stay in a loveless marriage for the sake of their children. Unfortunately, that does not make the kids oblivious of the hostility apparent within the household. In those cases, it sends a negative message that one should swallow personal pains and hardships for the sake of the family. Worse, it could give children the wrong ideas about the 'normal' appearance of marriage, and desensitize them to the hostile relationship between their parents, that could later on affect their own marriage. Some parents often do not realize that living a life in denial could hurt their children more than openly going through divorce. By acknowledging that the relationship is not working and going through divorce, it teaches kids the importance of being in a healthy and loving relationship and putting value on one's own happiness.
There is no denying that divorce is hurtful and painful process. However, it is extremely important to recognize that it is not just all about tears and pain. Difficult as it may be, with a positive attitude and willingness to make the best out of it, it is possible to reap the benefits out of a hard divorce. It is an opportunity for a life education that children will never forget, a window to self-improvement and ultimately, a chance to obtain happiness that was not possible in a unhappy marriage.